Dr. Beardsley's patients have a 25% survival rate. He finds this statistic disappointing - he was hoping for zero.

If you listen to Dr. Beardsley's music he will write prescriptions for you - prescriptions for ANYTHING you want. (Dr. Beardsley is above the law. In fact, he pioneered modern law, but that's a story for another day)

Beardsley grew up eating Swedish Berries and listening to Swedish techno. He chose the medical profession as means to raise money for his early retirement. His credentials include a degree from Dr. Nick's back alley Medical School and countless hours of exploratory surgery on neighbourhood pets.

Beardsley first started tinkering with electronic music at work. On lunch breaks he would rig up broken EKGs to an old sequencer he bought at a garage sale. Eventually he would go on to purchase more appropriate tools, but he still has a special place in his heart for the sound of a modded EKG.

He would also go on to invent a form of hard techno called “Beardstep” as a backlash against the dubstep movement. It was extremely popular with middle-aged housewives, which he still finds himself having to fend off everywhere he goes.